Funny or not one for th girls?

Rules that guys wished girls knew..........





1. If you think you%26#039;re fat, you probably are. Don%26#039;t ask us.





2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it%26#039;s up put it down.





3. Don%26#039;t cut your hair. Ever.





4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again!





5. If you ask a question you don%26#039;t want an answer to, expect an answer you don%26#039;t want to hear.





6. Sometimes, he%26#039;s not thinking about you. Live with it.





7. Don%26#039;t ask him what he%26#039;s thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.





8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it%26#039;s not different, it%26#039;s just like every other cat.





9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.





10. Sunday = Sports. It%26#039;s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.





11. Shopping is not sport.





12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.





13. You have enough clothes.





14. You have too many shoes.





15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don%26#039;t expect us to like it.





16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.





17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don%26#039;t work.





18. No, he doesn%26#039;t know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.





19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We%26#039;re bound to miss sometimes.





20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we%26#039;d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?





21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.





22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.





23. Your Mom doesn%26#039;t have to be our best friend.





24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.





25. Check your oil.





26. Don%26#039;t give us 50 rules when 25 will do.





27. Don%26#039;t fake it. We%26#039;d rather be ineffective than deceived.





28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.





29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.





30. If you don%26#039;t dress like the Victoria%26#039;s Secret girls, don%26#039;t expect us to act like soap opera guys.





31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.





32. Let us ogle. If we don%26#039;t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?





33. Don%26#039;t rub the lamp if you don%26#039;t want the genie to come out.





34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.





35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.





36. Christopher Columbus didn%26#039;t need directions, and neither do we.





37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.





38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.





39. Telling us that the models in the men%26#039;s magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it%26#039;s certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.





40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.





41. Anyone can buy condoms.

Funny or not one for th girls?
omg very gd lmao 10/10 x
Reply:Had a row with the Mrs have we?
Reply:again dude you%26#039;ve split my site *thumbs up* keep it up
Reply:Not particularly funny, but clever.
Reply:Yes very witty indeed.....
Reply:Did%26#039;nt have you down as a chauvenist. lol
Reply:When are you going to get some new material?
Reply:oh dear...lol i still laughed
Reply:Good but TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lonGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG effort
Reply:a bit stereotypical but i still laughed
Reply:i didnt agree with 16 and 32, but it was still hilarous.





Oh the commercials are never long enough for what we have to say lol lol.
Reply:I thought it was funny. About the toilet seat thing, when my boyfriend is at my house I expect him to put the seat back down when he is done. However, when I am at his house I put it back up when I am done. Oh and I buy my own condoms thank you.
Reply:LOL.


Typical Male View! LOL.
Reply:no. 35!!!! girls, pay attention
Reply:Too funny, thanks for the laugh.
Reply:ok, the only ones I dont agree with are


16) ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS...Not just my male relatives.


8) and 9) All animals are pretty cool...especially the cold blooded ones.


2) If the toilet seat was down when you got there....return it back to its NORMAL position..I mean come on...when you go to the store to buy a new one, they are in the down position, that is there natural position.





Other than that, I agree completely with all that you said....AND I AM FEMALE.
Reply:2,9,10,12,13,14,15,17,20,21,25,29,31,33,... What the hell the list is so freaking funny cause I know that my boy friend of 4 years would agree with those that I put up! Hey i holding nothing against this because I have to say its all true they would not have made the list if it didn%26#039;t happen. LOL I think its funny and if other girls find it offensive then they are the real biotchs that do all that stuff all the time and have no sense of humor... meaning no wonder your man can%26#039;t stand you LOL LOL!! :)
Reply:you won%26#039;t ever get married with those kind of dumb ideas!
Reply:And the answer to all of the above is:


%26quot;and you say that like it%26#039;s a bad thing?%26quot;
Reply:I%26#039;ve read a different 1 bt not as long as dis 1. u need 2 cut it down a bit cuz ppl won%26#039;t b willing 2 read all of it.
Reply:oh dear...lol i still laughed
Reply:we know how to live our lifes.....


no classes plz....
Reply:Single are you?
Reply:oh no
Reply:ha ha.. that was pretty funny.. i can agree with some of those and I%26#039;m a girl.. there is no point in nagging about the toilet seat being up.. just put it back down an shut the hell up.. it%26#039;s not that hard.. and I prefer people to talk to me during commercials, otherwise I can%26#039;t promise imma listen to what you have to say.. I have a short attention span, and if you don%26#039;t like it go talk to someone else.. I also agree, short hair is for boys.. it might look good on some girls, but I like my hair long, it%26#039;s good for pulling.. but anyhow.. that was pretty dang funny..
Reply:You must be a gay man because you really understand how women think!
Reply:i agree!!



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