Afflicted ?

An out of work pianist with Tourettes Syndrome is strolling around the


streets and bars of Dublin one unemployed afternoon. Walking down Dawson


Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window %26#039;Pianist wanted for


evening performances%26#039;.





%26#039;Fu**ing get in there you c*nt!%26#039; he says to himself and goes to the bar.


%26#039;Get the fu**ing manager of this pigs s*it middle class w*nk hole please


you c*nt%26#039;, he says to a somewhat startled barman. The barman however


obliges and his manager comes upstairs. %26#039;Can I help you sir?%26#039; he says





%26#039;Yes you can you fat piece of s*it, I saw your poxy advert in the c*nting


window and I%26#039;m here to audition.....w*nker.%26#039;





The manager is naturally put off by the man%26#039;s abrasive manner but his dire


need for a top class pianist forces him to agree to an audition. The


first tune the Pianist plays is an uplifting jazzy number, not too


involving, yet utterly melodic. At the end the thrilled barman cries,


%26#039;Wonderful, wonderful. What was that called?%26#039;





%26#039;That song, you big nosed tw*t, was called %26quot;Excuse me prime minister but I


just j*zzed in your daughter%26#039;s eye, and now the c*nts blind...%26#039;





%26#039;Oh%26#039; says the manager %26#039;err, can you play me another. Something a little


less %26quot;lively%26quot;.%26#039;





%26#039;W*nker..%26#039; interjects the pianist before launching into a powerful ballad


which leaves the manager in tears. The manager through his salty teardrops


asks him the title.





%26#039;That little number was called %26quot;Sometimes when you do a bird up the sh*t


box you get cr*p on your bell end.%26#039;





%26#039;I see%26#039; says the manager, %26#039;Have you got any songs with less offensive


titles?%26#039;





%26#039;Well there%26#039;s my jazz number %26quot;Do you want me to split your r*ngpiece%26quot;, or


there%26#039;s the epic %26quot;I don%26#039;t care if you%26#039;re older my dear, you%26#039;ve still got


nice jugs%26quot;.





%26#039;Look%26#039; says the manager interrupting, %26#039;I think you%26#039;re a superb pianist but


the title of your songs are a little %26quot;racy%26quot;. I will hire you on the


condition that you do not introduce your songs or speak to the audience.%26#039;





%26#039;**** it%26#039; says the pianist %26#039;Why not%26#039;.





On his first night everything is going superbly the crowd are lapping up


his repertoire and his silence is being received as modesty. The only


thing putting off the pianist is that in the front row there is a gorgeous


blonde in a black evening dress with a split up the side revealing the


tops of her stockings, and a plunging neckline which boasts a proud and


inviting cleavage. During the interval the pianist has got such a stonking


hard on that he decides to go to the bog and knock one out.





Just as he has shot his muck he hears himself being re-introduced over the


tannoy, so he rushes back to the stage and finishes his act. After the


show he is at the bar relaxing when the blonde approaches him.%26#039;Hi%26#039; she


says. %26#039;Hello%26#039; he winces, struggling to hold in the expletives.





She leans over and whispers in his ear, %26#039;Do you know your c*ck is hanging


out of your trousers, and sp*nk is dribbling onto your shoes?%26#039;





%26#039;Know it?%26#039;





says the pianist putting his beer on the bar confidently,





%26#039;I f*cking wrote it !!!%26#039;

Afflicted ?
Ha ha ha.!!!


Very good.!!!


10/10.!!!


Still smiling here, Cheers.!!!
Reply:Thanks people. Report It

Reply:LOL nice one
Reply:Ha!
Reply:lol
Reply:ha ha ha v good,,,,



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