Dictionary for women, not for kids/ adults only.?

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN%26#039;S PERSONAL ADS





40-ish - 49


Adventurous - Slept with everyone


Athletic - No ****


Average looking - Ugly


Beautiful - Pathological liar


Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills


Emotionally secure - On medication


Feminist - Fat


Free spirit - Junkie


Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person


Fun - Annoying


New Age - Body hair in the wrong places


Open-minded - Desperate


Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing


Passionate - Sloppy drunk


Professional - *****


Voluptuous - Very Fat


Large frame - Hugely Fat


Wants Soul mate - Stalker





WOMEN%26#039;S ENGLISH:





1. Yes = No


2. No = Yes


3. Maybe = No


4. We need = I want


5. I am sorry = you%26#039;ll be sorry


6. We need to talk = you%26#039;re in trouble


7. Sure, go ahead = you better not


8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later


9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!


10. You%26#039;re very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?





MEN%26#039;S ENGLISH





1. I am hungry = I am hungry


2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy


3. I am tired = I am tired


4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!


5. I love you = let%26#039;s have sex now


6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?


7. May I have this dance? = I%26#039;d like to have sex with you


8. Can I call you sometime? = I%26#039;d like to have sex with you


9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I%26#039;d like to have sex with you


10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I%26#039;d like to have sex with you


11. Those shoes don%26#039;t go with that outfit = I%26#039;m gay





And finally.....





A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.


For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.


However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

Dictionary for women, not for kids/ adults only.?
Hahahaha, very good, i only managed to get the cricket stump halfway up has bum though!
Reply:I love that!





When dating, men can tell when women are ovulating, menstruating and having dysmenorrhea because when they are ovulating women will take their drink splash it in his face, pull out a pepper spray and then take her sharpest heel and shove it up the guy%26#039;s bum. When she is menstruating, she will give him, her purse which has a time bomb on it. When, she is having dysmenorrhea...God have mercy on that man%26#039;s soul.
Reply:LOL very good :)
Reply:A lil amusing..
Reply:hahahahahaha
Reply:you are fantastic!!! xxkissxx
Reply:lol
Reply:Very funny *vote as best answer plz*
Reply:Brilliant.. and totally spot on!!!



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